I don’t know about the rest of you, but I play games to be entertained. I’m not that interested, anymore, about getting every single fucking little piece of treasure to unlock the ultra-awesome flatshaded mode, I just want to play. Do I thoroughly explore my games, wanting to see every nook and cranny of their vast environments? Sure. Do I sit there and watch every single cut scene, with subtitles turned on so I don’t miss a single word? You bet. I want as much of the game as I can take, and even then sometimes I want more.

So, what’s the deal, here in this current generation of gaming, with bullshit AI? “Bullshit AI?” you ask? Yes, it’s AI that, again in this day and age, should be completely and utterly un-fucking-acceptable. You know the kind, you hit start, your console bends you over your couch and begins pounding your ass like it’s casual Friday and your wife will be working late. Surely nowadays no one would put up with a game that’s sole purpose is to constantly fuck the player with mandatory hits, unbelievably hard bosses or AI opponents who race like getting second place is going to result in their codes being deleted. Er...right...? Wrong.

Why anyone wants to play a game that just simply punishes you from start to finish is beyond me. Where’s the entertainment value in that? Is hitting start only to go “That guy on the horse with the long-ass pole, the one who’s consistently handed my ass to me 432 times now, just fucked me again!”, is that what's considered a good gaming experience nowadays? When you’re a kid, you go out and find the hardest games and you play those motherfuckers until you've beat them….no matter what. Ninja Gaiden on NES? You know, the one where on the last level even if you die 3 steps before the last bosses' room(or in the room itself) starts you ALL THE WAY OVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE HARDEST LEVEL EVER BUILT BARRING THAT FUCKING PART ON BATTLETOADS WHERE YOU RIDE THOSE HOVERBIKES. You beat that one…you somehow beat it. It sucked, you wasted countless hours doing it, you threw down controllers, you punched holes in walls(then covered them up with posters of Capcom’s DuckTales from Nintendo Power so your dad wouldn't see it and tear your ass in half), but you did it. It was a fucking miracle.

Fast forward 10 years. Now you've got more than enough things whopping your ass on a daily basis: Rent, work, life. Do you really want your gaming to join in on that? I guess what I’m trying to say is fuck Ninja Gaiden Black.